Doing too much and yet never enough.

So I'm rapidly finding out that Chiari 1 is a temperamental pia. It doesn't like busy days. It doesn't like the days when I have 19+ things on my to do list. Boy does it let me know when I've ignored the warning signs.

Thursday was an insanely busy day with a huge list of things to do. This is not out of the normal for me. So I went about my day and didn't think much of it until I felt that nagging headache inch upwards as the day got later. I ignored it. I knew I shouldn't and I did it anyways. I stubbornly want to believe that nothing has changed. Well I was wrong. I continued to ignore the headache and the other signs like my speech getting worse and very minor balance issues that I'm sure only I noticed. I pushed all that aside and continued about my day and night.

Finally it came time to go to bed. By this time I had a headache I don't even want to put a number to and I couldn't sleep. I took half of a vicoden. The drug I have a love hate relationship with. Much to my surprise it didn't do damn thing. I might as well have taken a spoonful of sugar and waited for Merry Poppins. I forced myself to bed and laid there feeling that awful tightness take over. I tossed, I turned vainly trying to find a position that would "fix" the pain. I should know by now it isn't going to happen. It's not like when I eat and the chewing makes my head go numb. At least then I can stop eating. No this is different there isn't relief until whatever is going on inside my body works itself out. The last time I felt this bad was the night before Thanksgiving.

I fully expected to wake up feeling like my head would explode and have to stay in bed all day. Through some grace of God I woke up feeling only as bad as when I finally fell asleep. I was delighted and I mean that, no sarcasm. Chiari means often being grateful for the strangest things. Like not having your hands go numb, not having ringing in your ears for a day or having the pain be at a level that allows you to function. The surprising part is you'd be amazed at how much pain you can be in and still function.

Still the intensity of the pain subsided and life moved on. I had a fantastic day at work today. We stayed busy, had good conversation, my hands only went numb a few times, I didn't stumble once and lunch was fantastic.

I am determined to acknowledge the not so great parts but relish in the good things. And I will slow down even though that will be the hardest work of all.