The Invisible Power

So I'm going to whine, fair warning for anyone that doesn't want to read further. Not of course that anyone is reading in the first place but well warning all the same.

I like many other women my age am a wife and mother. Add to that I home school, work part time and have four children not just one or two. It's a lot of work but well worth it. Suddenly Turkey day 2010 kicked my ass. A flaming headache took all my carefully laid plans for the day and threw them out the window. I spent the day in a dark room trying not to hurl and canceling all my holiday plans. My husband amazing man that he is managed to cook turkey day dinner, clean house, and keep our children happy.

I had assumed that by the next day I would be noticeably better. I couldn't have been more wrong. Instead a week later I was at my doctors office with only mild pain relief and true neurological symptoms. In other words my brain had stopped functioning and forgotten to tel me. I had speech issues, memory issues, a lack of reflexive response on my left side including response to touch and sound. My blood pressure was high and I was down 12 pounds. For someone whose average weight hovers around 110lbs this was a biggie.

My doctor who I'll cal Dr. N ordered agreed with me that I was looking at a possible case of viral meningitis, which I've had before. He ordered a CatScan and a spinal tap. The very idea of a needle in my spine was terrifying. Four children and not an epidural in the bunch and yet here I was in the fetal position while two different doctors plunge a needle in my spine repeatedly trying to find fluid. The dilauded they gave me helped but it was no trip to Victoria's Secret.

The catscan came back normal except for the shrunken frontal cortex. Which Dr. N says is no big deal. Well I saw the "no big deal" and if it was his brain he wouldn't be saying that but that's another story.

Another week later and I was still in pain still suffering from neurological issues and beginning to find everyday life a strain. So Dr. N orders an MRI of my brain. Little did I know that a ride in the brain tunnel would lead to my own Pandora's box being opened.

A casual phone call from Dr. N gave me a "your fine" and "you have Chiari 1 malformation, but it's no big deal. follow up with a neurologist for the headaches and have a great Christmas." Umm okay. So off I go to google and suddenly the last ten years of my life and most of all the last month or so begins to make sense. I described it to a great friend of mine as always having the pieces of a puzzle but no picture to reference. Suddenly someone had given me a picture. All the things that I had been fighting even before Thanksgiving now made sense.

It wasn't just tired from being a mom, the constant pressure at the back of my head make sense, not everyone has to have their husband push on the base of their skull just to get pain relief, weakness in your hand and arms isn't typical and chewing doesn't make everyone feel like their going to pass out. Huh go figure.

I could tell you all about Chiari 1 malformation but I couldn't do it justice. It is the invisible power over me. IT sounds dramatic and if you know me at all you'd know I loathe drama. But it's true so very true. I look at my life as before Thanksgiving and after Thanksgiving.

I've heard a lot of people tell me "it's no big deal" well I will continue to believe that my brain slipping down into my spinal cord is a big deal.

There. Now back to our regularly scheduled random bouts of witty nothingness.